More on singles site profiles

I just wanted to revisit my blog posting from yesterday. In that posting, I commented on how some people introduce themselves on singles sites by saying. "Hi. I'd like to get to know you. Please read my profile and tell me what you think." I realize that not everybody will agree with me on this point, but I think that such introductions are ill-advised. Indeed, I think they're kinda rude, as they basically place the recipient in the position of having to figure out what they can talk about.

When I discussed this matter online, one guy said, "I do it to save time. Why should I waste my time on a long response if the other person isn't interested?" I think that's not only foolish, it's also rude. It's foolish because one's introduction doesn't have to be very long -- a short paragraph should suffice. It's rude because the sender wants to save time, but also wants the recipient to put in the time necessary to read his/her profile and compose a response. That's kinda self-cented and inconsiderate.

One person responded to me by saying "I think u r taking this wayyyyyyyy to serious LOL if it bugs u that much, write her back and tell her, thats if..." -- well, you get the picture. I think this illustrates the problem. People who don't communicate well are less likely to understand the importance of actually starting a conversation, as opposed to offering some generic introduction. They fail to grasp why it's important to actually start some sort of discussion if you want to have a conversation.

People like this remind me of people who don't bother to proofread their resumes or supply a personalized cover letter when they apply for a job. They figure that they're just saving time, and that sounds reasonable. Ultimately though, I think it does indicate a tendency to do a minimal amount of work, or close to it. It's saying "Eh. Good enough." And when it comes to asking someone to "review [your] profile then get back to me," it's even more objectionable. Why? Because it's basically asking the other person to pour in work, whereas you opt to take the easy approach.

I know that some people -- perhaps may people -- wouldn't see it that way. They would say, "What's the harm? You want to read singles profiles anyway, right?" While this may sounds reasonable on the surface, I think it overlooks an important principle -- namely, that it's best to avoid needlessly imposing on other people. If you want someone to read your profile, then give them some incentive to do so. It's a lot better than just saying "Please read my profile and tell me what you think." Little niceties like this may seem trivial, but they have their place.