Hope

I lost a lot of respect for my friend Hope this weekend.

Hope got married back in June. I never called her after that (in fact, I hardly ever called her beforehand); however, I would occasionally shoot her an e-mail message saying things like "Hey, how are you?" or "I'm really glad that you showed us photos from your trip" or "Just FYI, I told Mon that I really think that you picked a good husband" or words to that effect. Most of the time, she didn't respond, nor did I necessarily expect her to.

As it turns out though, she didn't like receiving those messages. Why? Because she was a married woman and she felt like these messages were an intrusion into her emotional boundaries.

I think she's being an idiot. I know that sounds kinda harsh, but I think it's true. She's not a dummy in general, but on this particular issue, she's being a bit of a jackass.

E-mail messages are not like telephone conversations. A quick message that says "I'm glad you folks got to visit" generally is not loaded with emotional content. It's not the sort of thing that should feel like an intrusion into one's marriage or emotional boundaries. Give me a break.

Most of these messages don't even require any response! Of course, a message that contains a direct question like "How are you?" may require a response -- though even then, many people understand that other folks are kinda busy. To say that this somehow constitutes a break of emotional protocol is simply dumb.

Hope, I have lost a great deal of respect for you.