Monday, January 26, 2009

Juvenile tactics

DoI have a cousin who had a strange idea of fun. She thought it was absolutely hilarious for her to follow me around, mimicking whatever I did. I'd climb up the stairs; she'd climb up the stairs. I'd sit down on the couch; she'd sit down on the couch. I'd let out a sigh, and so would she.

Mind you, she wasn't a little kid anymore when she did this sort of thing. I can imagine how a five-year-old would find this amusing, but not a pre-teen.

In part, I blame her parents. Her parents should have taught her that this was not polite behavior. Then again, I learned that a lot of adults don't teach their children such niceties. In fact, in my family, they would often blame the child who complained about being mocked or teased. "Be a good sport," they'd say.

There's some merit to saying that people need to learn to be a good sport. However, when the children go out of their way to tease or ridicule others, you need to slap them down. You need to let them know that such behavior is unacceptable. When you respond to these situations by childing the victim and saying "Learn to be a good sport," then you are sending an entirely wrong message. You are telling the tormenters that what they're doing is perfectly acceptable and that they are acting with your blessings. Don't let them off the hook that way.