When chivalry is misunderstood

I've been surprised at how vehemently some people denounce acts of chivalry -- you know, actions such as helping a woman down some difficult steps or pulling her chair out when seating at a table. "Don't do it for a woman if you wouldn't do it for a man!" they say.

I understand the sentiment, but I think it's overreacting. People shouldn't take offense at these gestures. They're not meant to imply that the other person is incapable of walking down steps by themselves, or that they can't open their own doors. These are just social niceties and signs of respect.

I like what Carrie Lukas said in her article from the National Review Online:

Gentlemanly conduct isn't about women at all. It's about men and their sense of themselves. Paul Anderson continues to say that he would give up his seat to someone truly in need, such as the elderly, pregnant women, and the disabled. But that's not gentlemanly, that's just humane.

A man giving up his seat to a woman who he knows is equally capable of standing on her own is different. It's a gesture that doesn't (as some feminist suggest) imply women are weak. It's a simple show of respect. Respect not just for the woman, but also for himself. It shows that this man believes himself to be a gentleman and holds himself to high standards. Those standards are more important than enjoying the comfort of a seat on his morning commute.

Resurrecting chivalry begins by remembering why it's important. Chivalry is part of a civil world. Women should welcome gentlemanly gestures, and graciously accept them with a thank you. I'll start by thanking the men of the Titanic, who 96 years ago gave up their seats so that the women could live.

Hope

I lost a lot of respect for my friend Hope this weekend.

Hope got married back in June. I never called her after that (in fact, I hardly ever called her beforehand); however, I would occasionally shoot her an e-mail message saying things like "Hey, how are you?" or "I'm really glad that you showed us photos from your trip" or "Just FYI, I told Mon that I really think that you picked a good husband" or words to that effect. Most of the time, she didn't respond, nor did I necessarily expect her to.

As it turns out though, she didn't like receiving those messages. Why? Because she was a married woman and she felt like these messages were an intrusion into her emotional boundaries.

I think she's being an idiot. I know that sounds kinda harsh, but I think it's true. She's not a dummy in general, but on this particular issue, she's being a bit of a jackass.

E-mail messages are not like telephone conversations. A quick message that says "I'm glad you folks got to visit" generally is not loaded with emotional content. It's not the sort of thing that should feel like an intrusion into one's marriage or emotional boundaries. Give me a break.

Most of these messages don't even require any response! Of course, a message that contains a direct question like "How are you?" may require a response -- though even then, many people understand that other folks are kinda busy. To say that this somehow constitutes a break of emotional protocol is simply dumb.

Hope, I have lost a great deal of respect for you.

This GAL is no bozo either!

I also appreciate Sylvia, this German lady who attends three of the gym classes that I go to. She is at least my age, if not older, and yet she puts in more effort than almost anyone else. I love having her around, and I’m always disappointed when she’s not there. (Except during the Monday bootcamp classes, perhaps. The class is large enough that I don’t necessarily notice her around. However, when she’s not attending the kickboxing and hi-lo classes, the energy level in the class is noticeably lower.)

During the hi-lo classes, we perform various demanding moves wherein we have to travel in a rectangular pattern. Most people don’t move very much during these exercises, and some pretty much just stay in one place while doing less energetic versions of the moves. I love it when Sylvia moves up next to me during those moves, as we get to compete with each other a little bit. We both like to cover a lot of ground during these moves, which is great.

Some would say that this is showing off, and to some extent, maybe it is. I think it is helpful for people to see others really taking it to the max, though. My Monday night instructor pretty much says the same thing when she says that we are there, not just for ourselves, but for everyone else as well.

This guy is no bozo

On a more positive note, there is another fella who attends the bootcamp classes. He puts in a lot of real energy and enthusiasm into his moves. So does his friend who used to attend these classes, though I did not see the friend this week.

I love it when there are people around me who push themselves hard. It makes a huge difference. It motivates me to work harder than I otherwise would.

This guy doesn’t always have good form. Due to his energy and enthusiasm, he sometimes gets too bouncy. His punches and kicks aren’t always well controlled. Still, he pours in plenty of effort, and I like that.

The bozo revisited

More about the bozo who barks like a dog during the cardio bootcamp classes that I attend…

Yesterday, I mentioned that he bragged about getting his second wind, and the instructor asked if when he got his first one. During the same session, when he was acting all bad*ss, the instructor also asked him if he was demonstrating the “low” versions of the moves. Heh.

Does this guy even realize how little effort he’s putting into his moves? He’s got no basis for bragging.

I’d be kinda pleased if he’d be kicked out of the gym. I know that would be a vast overreaction, but part of me thinks that it’d be kinda nice.

Barking gym bozo

I previously complained about this bozo who keeps barking like a dog during the cardio bootcamp classes at my gym. He keeps hollering stuff like “I love this!” even though he’s barely doing the moves. He wants to make it sound as though he’s all bad*ss, but he’s not putting any real effort in.

Last night, about 15 minutes into the hour-long bootcamp session, he yelled out, “I’m getting my second wind!” In a good-natured manner, the instructor asked, “When did you get the first one?” Oh, snap.

She seems to be pretty chummy with the guy, which may be why she’s not as annoyed with him as I am. Still, I wish that she’d tell him not to keep acting like he’s all bad*ss if he’s not really putting much effort into the work.

Of course, it would be difficult for anyone to take this guy aside and tell him that he’s making a fool of himself. That sort of thing just wouldn’t go over well. Sigh.

Why can’t he just move away?

A Hollywood Geek?

I found out that this comely actress named Olivia Munn is publishing a book called Suck it Wonder Woman!: The Misadventures of a Hollywood Geek.

I'd like to read it, but I'm not sure that I'd pay good money for it. It's an interesting concept to say the least.

BTW, when I say that she's a comely actress, I simply acknowledge that she's attractive. She doesn't really grab my attention, though some guys apparently think that she's way hot.

Worst kickboxing class ever

One of the local Bally Total Fitness studios has the worst kickboxing class that I've ever seen. The instructor spends most of the time prancing about, performing moves that bear no resemblance to anything that one would use in actual combat. A lot of easy bicep curls with no resistance, for example, as well as these weird moves where she's pushing her hands toward the floor.

I suppose that it'd be a perfectly good lightweight aerobic workout. Whatever it is though, it's not kickboxing. There's scarcely any kicking and hardly any boxing.

It's more of a lame dance workout, really. That's probably why you have this flamboyant fella up front hooting throughout the workout as though he were at a party. He's annoying as heck, and his shenanigans should not be tolerated in any real kickboxing class.

The Apprentice

I found this old (and kinda lame) discussion board of TV's "The Apprentice". On this board, a couple of guys apparently were discussing the episode in which Elizabeth Jarosz was fired. Based on the footage shown, this firing was richly deserved.

I did get to listen to some of her Fishbowl broadcasts though, and she impressed me more in those shows. Couple that with her performance during the finale, and this makes me think that she was more capable than she appeared to be at first.

I wish I could watch the commercial that she shot for Bally Total Fitness, though. That'd be kinda nice.

Long phone conversation

I just had a 2.5 hour phone conversation with a friend of mine. It was a very difficult conversation. She was whispering the whole time because she didn't want to wake her in-laws up. What's more, she was bringing up stuff that we had discussed many times before. She's kinda lacking in confidence; that's the problem.

She's a good friend, but that was tough.

Ezri

Boy, Nicole deBoer is a real cutie, isn't she? She's both incredibly cute and very pretty. She's got that kind of look.

Oh, and she was clearly in good shape. Or at least, she was during her single season on DS9. Wowza.

I thought that Terry Farrell was attractive, and indeed, she was a willowy beauty with great eyes. I think that Nicole blows her away though, even though she's not as statuesque. I just like her look a whole lot more.

Groggy meanderings

I'm tired and sleepy. I just had a long conversation with a friend, and I felt like dozing off during this time, even though she's a wonderful person.

Heck, I can barely type right now.

Man, I am so sleepy. I could use some rest, and I would love to hit the gym for a while. I have been overworked and I need my energy.

Came across the BioRes site. Now that looks interesting. Not flashy, but it has some valuable content.

I also like the HowStuffWorks site. Very educational.

You stink!

Tammie S, you stink! You're a liar. You have no integrity.

DM Sarge, you were a terrible human being a few years ago. I hope that you've changed your ways.

Amy T.... well, I wouldn't say that you stink, but I am disappointed in you.

David F, you're not a nice person.

Countless screaming argonauts

Gotta love those lyrics. It's humorous when someone sings about being an underperforming lighthouse and how this would have caused the deaths of Jasons and the crew of the Argo. Funny stuff.

The Da Vinci Code

I can't believe that a lot of people still take "The Da Vinci Code" seriously. Open up a history book, people! When Dan Brown says that the book is based on serious history, he's either lying or seriously deluded.

Of course, he later backed down from those claims, even though he had originally insisted that the book was based on solid historical facts. I think this shows that Dan Brown is not a very honest person. He clearly has no grasp of history.

Semirandom thoughts

I wish that I had time to watch that TV series, "Chuck." It looks like a lot of fun, and I've heard great things about it. I just need to curb my TV watching habits, though. I don't watch huge amounts of TV, but I probably watch more than what's optimal.

I do watch "Heroes," but I don't follow the sotrylines very closely. BTW, even though she doesn't appeal to me, I bet that a lot of guys go for that Hayden Panettiere gal. I would also like to watch "Pushing Daisies," perhaps while getting some work done.

I came across the 01webdirectory site. Interesting. Kinda.

Discovering the Big Bang Theory

I recently discovered "The Big Bang Theory" on TV -- or rather, on DVD. Now that is a funny show! A lot of comedic talent there.

The four male leads are all hilarious, and it's patently obvious that Kaley Cuoco isn't just a pretty face. I also loved seeing the relationships between them grow and how much Penny has become thoroughly integrated into their little group.

Funny, funny stuff. I think the humor is a little bit tasteless at times, in part because I favor more conservative humor. Still, I can't deny that the writing is clever and that the comedic acting is excellent.

Whither April?

Whatever happened to April Lerman?

Well, I found out that she did some acting in a stage production of Annie. She also did some skin flick, to my disappointment.

She was so cute as one of the children on the first season of "Charles in Charge." They revamped the cast for the following year, and I didn't like the new folks as much. This, despite the cover girl appeal of Nicole Eggert.

When HP fails to fix a laptop properly

This excerpt is from a letter that I once wrote, complaining about my HP laptop that required multiple repairs.

The fellow that I spoke to on HP’s tech support line instructed me to include a note with this computer, explaining what’s wrong with my computer. I explained the nature of this problem on the telephone, but just to be thorough:


• The computer does not power on. It is simply dead. Nothing I do causes it to turn on.

• This is the fourth time that this problem has occurred within the past year. The first time it happened, I took it back to CompUSA and the problem mysteriously disappeared. The second time, it took about two weeks to fix it. The third time around, it tooks 2½ months to effect repairs.

I am very deeply concerned about this situation. In effect, I have only been able to use it for about 75% of the past year, due to all the problems this thing has given me. Please, please get it back to me soon. This item cost me a huge amount of money, and if this continues to be a problem, then I will have to look to other companies for my future needs.

Joan Rivers needs to hear this

One Mary Kreutz posted this on Annie Duke's blog. I think that it's worth repeating.

To Joan Rivers,

I respected you before, but was so disappointed by your remarks equating or making an analogy about Annie Duke and Hitler. Those remarks are unforgivable in my view. Your remarks about Melissa being a “Wharton” grad and inferring that somehow it made her better than Annie showed even more your lack of class. I don’t really know the personal issues that caused you to show your hatred for Annie so much, but your remarks about Adolf Hitler (said over and over and even made worse by the implication that Annie was worse than Hitler), and the Wharton remark showed a real lack of class, self control and an even greater lack of caring for other people’s feelings. I know that you’ll say, “To hell with other people’s feelings,” but making money and being in the right place with the “right” people shouldn’t take away your compassion and humanity. I’m proud to say that I don’t and never desire to fit into your group. It’s a mean group. That type of group has brought America to its knees financially. You must be friends with the bankers that sit in their mansions and could care less about those that have lost their homes. Their personal greed and lack of morality seems to be your style. I’m sure you’ll continue to be their friends because they still have their mansions and money, and since ethics and morality don’t seem to be very important, they are your “peers”. Fortunately, most people that are wealthy are also ethical and moral. I’ve known many and I know that most do care and teach their children to remain responsible, caring and polite when challenged with things that don’t go their way. Few have celebrated rude, spoiled and bratty children. Their children have grown up showing those values-even those that have gone to Wharton. I teach first grade. You’re right, my students don’t fit into your group, and you may consider these 20 seven year olds not worthy. Their parents work hard, but they are just middle class, working poor and some at my school are homeless. I’ll try to continue teaching them that the words that come out of their mouths do matter, that sticks and stone hurt, but words hurt more. Sometimes, holding hurtful words is the hardest thing to do. The easiest thing is to blurt them out with no care or concern for what damage those words can cause. My kids said that being a hero means doing the right thing, when the right thing is the hardest thing to do and the wrong thing would be the easiest. My second graders gave that definition. They may never be “Wharton” grads, but I am happy to be in their world. They make me proud. They care about others and don’t judge others by how much money they make, who they know, what they wear or how pretty or thin they are. The best part is that when they do something nice for someone, it’s not done to promote themselves. I hope that you learn that before it’s too late. Your grandchildren need to know that. It’s never to late to learn. I know that I will be learning long after I am 75, God willing. The only good thing out of this show this year is that good causes will get money. Your group will get a lot of laughs and I cringe at what the young people will learn from what they’ve heard. The one thing that I know, and this is for QVC- I’ve spent thousands and thousands of dollars with QVC, but that has changed this month. I will never buy another thing from Joan or Melissa’s. It won’t mean much in the long run, but at least I’ll be able to sleep at night.