Proper ad English

I always cringe when I see ads that use sloppy English grammar or inelegant phrasings. I realize that not everybody has great wordsmithing skills; however, it seems to me that if you know this to be a weakness, you should solicit help from people who do have better writing skills. At the very least, have somebody check your work for grammar and style!

These shortcomings are more understandable when dealing with ad materials from overseas, especially China. That's why I was impressed with this site. These folks clearly took the effort to ensure that they used elegant wording and proper grammar. Very few companies do that sort of thing nowadays.

SuperFriends. Ugh.

Caught a few episodes of various "SuperFriends" shows on the Boomerang channel. Ugh. Ugh. Ugh. I know that the writers weren't trying to create high art, but for pity's sake, they could have avoided dumbing the stories down so much.

Okay, I'll admit that the last season ("The Super Powers Team: Galactic Guardians") wasn't so bad. And except for the use of Wendy, Marvin, and Wonderdog, neither was the first season. The rest of the seasons were simply stupid though, and the dialogue was beyond atrocious.

Ugh. Yech. Blech. Phooey.

I once read an online singles profile which said the following:

I have friends of all types, but I'm not looking for another "just friend" on here, and I don't have time for world-wide pen-pals -- even with otherwise great people. I promise I'm not a negative person, but because I am in the similars-attract camp rather than the opposites-attract camp and because there's no point wasting anyone's time by lack of full disclosure, things which are deal-breakers and complete turn-offs for me include the following: beer, liquor, smoking, chewing tobacco, gambling, lying, manipulation, cheating (on taxes, girlfriend, timecard, etc.), meanness, perversion, less-than-full-time employment or income of less than 80% of mine, long-distance (anything greater than 25 miles; Garland is on the NE edge of Dallas, TX in the USA), IQ less than 135, history of promiscuity/STDs, history of gay/bi, divorced (more than once, with kids, in the past five years, or for any reason other than her adultery or abandonment of you), shorter than 5'11", fat, under 30 or over 45, less than a full set of teeth, poor personal hygeine, not white/Caucasian, not a U.S. citizen from birth, lack of at least a bachelor's degree, poor grammar, poor spelling, living with parents/family, history of or current psychiatric meds or need thereof (that is if your psychiatrist, doctor, family, friends, coworkers, ex-girlfriends, ex-friends, or ex-coworkers think you need meds -- whether or not YOU think you do), criminal history (whether convicted or not), overall negative attitudes, lack of proven leadership experience.... That is not an exhaustive list, but is a good start. If ANY of those describe you, please do NOT write me... especially just to tell me that what is important to me shouldn't be important to me simply because it isn't important to you.

This woman is incredibly shallow. Based on her profile, she was a bright woman, and based on her photos, she was rather pretty... but I would pity any man who wound up with her.

Some of her demands are reasonable -- proper hygiene and a lack of criminal history, for example). Many of them are downright petty, though. She won't date someone who was not born as a US citizen? And she would never even consider dating someone who's non-Caucasian? Boy, this gal must have a superiority complex.

She also won't date any man who makes less than her. Well, what if that man deliberately took a moderately well-paying charity job for the sake of helping the poor? Or because this person wants to help disabled people? I guess that money matters way too much to this woman.

Somebody tried to sell me a rapid prototyping workcell. It was pretty darned neat and it would have been a great toy, but I couldn't justifying buying such a device for our company.

Their processs involved curing plastics that were dyed in multiple colors. Great technology, but personally, I prefer the use of laminated materials. It permits the use of a wide range of functional materials such as aluminum. IT even permits the use of transparent materials such as plexiglas. Very cool.

A few notes on Abilene, Texas

I got to spend a couple of nights in Abilene, Texas, on business. A few observations:

First, their tiny little regional airport is quite nice. Because the airport is small, the check-in and security checkpoint lines are short and efficient. Parking is affordable, and despite their small size, they offer free wireless Internet access. Very nice!

Second, the taxicab service around here stinks to high heavens. Abilene is a small town, but it has a reasonably large population, so you'd think that they could manage to have more taxis. Unfortunately though, most of the taxi companies in Abilene (such as "Classic Cab") are owned by the same family, and they clearly don't have enough taxis (or perhaps taxi drivers) to around.

I've called for a cab three times over the past two days. The first time around, I had to wait a long time for the cab to arrive, and I had to share the ride with a local family. The second time, I was told that there would be a 45-minute wait. (It turned to be more than a 75-minute wait, at which point somebody else offered to give me a ride instead.) The third time around, I was told that I'd have to wait for 2.5 hours, which would have caused me to miss my outgoing flight. (Again, by God's grace, I managed to get another ride instead.)

There is another company that I could have used, but they didn't even pick up the phone. Good grief!

Clearly, the problem is not a lack of demand. I don't know what the problem is. Mismanagement? Difficulty in retaining employees? Who knows? All I can say is that I'm never going to use their taxi service again. Heck, the local airport should put up a big sign, warning everyone that the taxis here are horrendously unreliable.

My morning in a motel

So I'm sitting in a motel, waiting for a cab.

I spent part of this morning in vigorous cardio exercise within my hotel room. That was great. Thankfully, the rooms seem to have pretty good soundproofing. I like that.

I also got some reading and computer work done, but not as much as I would have liked. I also bought some frozen dinners at a local WalMart. That way, I can eat more nutriously than I would at a restaurant. I can also keep my food expenses down, which my employer would hopefully appreciate. After all, they're paying for this business trip.

I called for a cab, only to find out that there'll be a 45-minute wait. Yoiks! I'm in a small town right now, but I wasn't expecting that. Yowza.

Important ad messages!!!

I remember using the newsgroups on a local freenet way back before the Web was available. Every now and then, you'd get some wonk posting a message with a subject line that said, "Important news! Please read!" I'd open the message up, only to find that they were just shilling some sort of product -- commemorative artwork or whatnot.

These messages got to be very irritating, especially when one only had a slow network connection. I actually wrote to one guy and said, "You call that an important announcement? I call it false advertising." Yeah, I was being kinda snippy, and I could have phrased things more tactfully. I guess I was bristling at the implicit manipulation involved in urging people to read an "important" announcement about some trivial matter.

As the years went on, I discovered that many other vendors use the same tactic. We all get envelopes in the mail that are marked "Important!" , right? As far as I'm concerned, if you're going to insist that something is important, it had better be true. Or better yet, tell me what it's about, dangit!

Animal lawnmowers

I really hate the time involved in mowing my lawn. I don't mind the physical effort; in fact, I deliberately got a mower that was not self-propelled. I figured that unless you have any tall hills to climb, any halfway healthy adult male should be able to push one of these things around.

That didn't stop one fella from urging me to get one, though. His comment? "It makes things so much easier!" No, dude. I don't have any difficulty pushing a low-end mower around; I just wish it didn't require so much time.

Yet another fella was telling me to use this riding mower. "It's so sweet!" he said. Dude, unless you have a huge amount of property, getting a riding lawn mower is waste of money. These things cost $1500 or so. Why not get some exercise instead?

Which, BTW, is what makes investing this time somewhat more palatable. I just wish that it was more of a thorough cardio or resistance training workout.

The other Nancy Drew?

Does anyone remember Janet Louise Johnson -- y'know, the other Nancy Drew? She took over the role from Pamela Sue Martin back when the Hardy Boys/Nancy Drew Mysteries was on the air.

I didn't get to watch many of those episodes, though. Our family only had one TV set back then, and my mother insisted on using it to watch this incredibly stupid family drama. At least, that's how it looked to my prepubescent eyes. Personally, I prefer mysteries, as I like a good mental challenge.

And no, it had nothing to do with the fact that the two Nancy Drews were both cute. In fact, I never even noticed that until many years afterwards.

The Post-It Note

From The 75 Greatest Management Decisions Ever Made:

Innovation often involveds putting two and two together and making four. A simple idea from one plice combined with a simple idea from another place can yield gold. That's the story of Art Fry and the Post-It.
...
The Post-It was invinted when Fry's colleague, Dr. Spencer Silver in 3M's Central Research Department, came up with a weak adhesive that stuck strongly enough to keep pieces of paper together than could be separated without leaving a mark. It was an invention in search of a use.

The rest, as they say, is history.

A great moment from the latest Narnia movie

There was a really great moment toward the end of The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe: Prince Caspian. I was when the bad guys saw Lucy standing alone on the other side of the bridge, dagger in hand. There was a moment where the new head baddie (what was his name again?) was stunned, then confused. Then he realized that this was all too good to be true and that something very bad was about to happen.

Then Aslan appeared, and you could see that the army was hesitant to cross. They didn't dare presume that they could simply tackle this beast, despite their numbers and armor. The Narnian army was right behind them though, so after some hemming and hawing, forward they went...

The Prince Caspian movie

Saw the Prince Caspian movie last night. They took a considerable number of liberties with the original story. I'm not complaining, mind you, especially since the original story was not as engaging as the other tales in C.S. Lewis's Narnia series. Just for the record though, the major changes included the following:


There was a James Bond-esque attempt to infiltrate Miraz's castle and take the fight to him. This ends with a battle in the castle itself and a tragic setback.

Romantic sparks between Susan and Caspian. I don't normally appreciate shoehorning a romantic subplot into a classic story, but in this case, I didn't mind. Susan was supposed to be the beauty of the Pevensie group, and so it made sense that they'd show a couple of guys responding to her in that manner.

Caspian blows Queen Susan's horn when he falls off his horse as he escape from Miraz.

The witch/werewolf scene takes place toward the end of the movie. The way this scene unfolded was changed as well.

New word: Parkour

I learned a new word today: parkour. At least one writer has referred to it as "urban gymnastics," but that's not an accurate synonym, as parkour can be used in a rural setting as well. It's all about using efficient body movements to overcome obstacles.

A recent Spider-Man issue had Spidey battling an urban gymnast who claimed to have the "parkour luck." This made Spider-Man cringe, since Spidey has often lamented the "Parker luck"; that is, the way bad things keep happening to him.

(As an aside, Johnny Storm once noted that the Parker luck also involves him dating all manner of incredibly beautiful women -- Gwen Stacey, Felicia Hardy, and Mary Jane Watson, to name the obvious standouts. But I digress.)

Lori Drew has been charged

I see that Lori Drew has finally been indicted for her role in the death of Megan Meier, a young girl who was driven to suicide through cyberbullying on MySpace.

It's about time. A federal grand jury handed down this indictment, and it's good that they did. I'll withhold judgment on whether she truly deserves to be sentenced, but it seems to me that she should be.

Peter Falk is a treasure

Peter Falk is a national treasure. You may know him as that pop culture icon, Lieutenant Columbo. Everyone loves the guy; that's why we celebrate Columbo day in October.

Mr. Falk will be turning 81 in September. Well, guess what? This means that we need to have at least one more Columbo movie, darn it! Unfortunately, ABC has not been supportive of Columbo's Last Case, thinking that Peter Falk is too old to draw a crowd.

They are nuts! Columbo is perhaps the most iconic of TV detectives, and a show that's billed as his final case would surely draw in large crowds. Would it draw the demographics that they want? I don't know, but I just have to believe that this would be a major television event.

And if Mr. Falk dies before somebody produces this movie, it'll be a horrible shame.

I hate dandelions

I hate dandelions. Hate 'em. Hate 'em. Hate 'em.

I wish that my neighbors would do a better job of keeping their dandelions under control. I swear, some of them don't even seem to mow their lawns at all. Ugh.

I hate using chemicals against them, and I also hate the tedium of pulling them up. Yeargh. Ugh. Blechh.

MFA: The New MBA

Creative skills are vastly underrated in many business circles. That's why I was pleased to see this podcast that said, "The MFA is the New MBA."

The thing is, you need creativity in the workplace. This is even true of technical types like scientists, engineers, and programmers. That's just the way it is. They might need to develop marketing materials, for example, or a clever way of presenting their ideas. Or maybe even a creative technical solution or business strategy.

Instant rebates

The following snippets have been excerpted from a discussion in which somebody proposed that rebates should be made instant. It's the sort of idea that people endorse because they perceive a personal benefit without considering the economics of the matter.



--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

I am in the middle of an unsettling experience with a rebate. I purchased a $20 item thru the Internet (a reputable dealer, I think) with a $10 rebate. I filled out the forms, attached the invoice, and included the physical barcode from the retail product box as instructed.

8 weeks later, I get an email from the rebate service company. They claim that the barcode I sent was not a UPC code as the form requested, so they denied the rebate.

I have copies of all rebate forms, and the original product box. Checking the papers, I find that, sure enough, neither of the two barcodes from the box are UPC style (wrong number of digits, for one). However, there is absolutely no other barcode or UPC number anywhere on the box, any side. (It's probably a Taiwanese special "clone" product.)

So the rules say "must be original UPC barcode" to get the rebate, but there is no original UPC barcode available to the consumer. Catch-22.

I have written both to the rebate servicer and the dealer, since it appears that 100% of the claims for this product will be rejected. What a scam. Let's hope the dealer sets this right, or I will escalate it to some government authority just out of spite.

But this brings me to the OP: rebates are universally hated by consumers, regularly not redeemed, but frequently used as a sales tool when the advertisers know well that many (most?) purchasers won't get the rebate either for reasons like the example above, out-and-out fraud by the rebate servicers, or consumers who don't care for a measily ten bucks.

I am against the idea of "there oughta be a law" in principle, but in the case of fraud, laws may need to be passed to prevent it. And this situation is at least a borderline case of fraud, IMHO.

So should there be a law that all rebates must be given (or at least offered) at the time of purchase? It would make every transaction fair. The consumer would know at the register or checkout that they qualify or not for the rebate, and if there was a problem, it would be solved before the transaction was completed.

What are the implications of such a law?
Manufacturers would have to adjust the amount of the rebate offered to allow for a greater number of redemptions, and adjust for the reduced float, but see #2.
Retailers would have to work out an arrangement with the manufacturer or distributor to be compensated for the instant rebate. Doesn't sound like a big problem with electronic transfers and computerized billing. It's a lot easier for a store to do this as a composite figure for one day's sales than for each customer to do it individually. It would make the rebate centers go out of business, and perhaps the amount of rebate could be increased, since the administration cost would be less.
Does any state or country have such a law? Would it be a good idea?

...

No they shouldn't.

That defeats the point of the rebate. The rebate is a clever little ploy to make it seem cheaper. They bank on the fact that not everyone will send it in, so they get to advertise a cheaper price than they actually will end up receiving. If you make all rebates instant there won't be much of an incentive to give them out anymore. If you give out 20 dollar rebates they will only really cost you say 10 dollars, because maybe half the people don't use them.

Manufacturing WebExpo

Just wanted to plug the following event. I'm copying this text verbatim from an e-mail that I received, but somehow, I don't think they'll mind.

===========================

2008 National Manufacturing WebExpo & Conference
Date: Wednesday, May 21, 2008
Time: 9:00 am – 5:00 pm ET

The manufacturing show that comes to your office!

The Manufacturing WebExpo and Conference brings you and your management team the advantages of a traditional trade show without any of the travel cost! Participate in a webcast, visit a trade show booth and pick up valuable literature – all from the comfort of your office.

Webcasts
Tune in to any or all of the Webcasts (including Parker Hannifin - Tube Fittings Division, Bimba Manufacturing and AutomationDirect). Ask questions. And if you have a member of your management team who missed a live Webcast, don’t worry – each Webcast is archived for 3 months.

Trade Show
Visit booths at the virtual trade show (Sealevel Systems, AutomationDirect, EFD, FactoryMation, Parker Hannifin - Tube Fittings Division, Strong-Hold Products and more) where you can learn about new manufacturing and industrial products, subscribe to newsletters and download white papers or literature.

Stay for an hour or stay all day – you decide. Without burdensome travel costs, you can invite your whole management team to view a Webcast or review product features at company booths.

What a movie reviewer does

I read the following comment on what movie reviewers do, and I thought that it was worth emphasizing.

Movie reviewers (and we're talking here about reviews, not criticism*) are just watching the movie to determine its strengths and weaknesses. They are often out of step because they have seen more movies than the moviegoing public and can recognize cliches more readily. In addition, they tend to be interested in elements like plot and characterization, which a lot of the movie audience these days don't care about, since they're interested in flashy special effects. Ultimatly, though flashy special effects just become dated, making the weakness in the story more obvious (once you remove the "bullet time" elements from The Matrix -- which has become a cliche now -- the movie is very dull and cliched)

I will say that there are very few examples of films panned by all critics, and those that are panned by an overwheming majority or critics are nearly always as bad as the critics say. When you have so many critics saying the film is bad, then those that like it are the ones who are likely to be wrong.

*A reviewer assumes you haven't seen a film and want to know whether to see it; a critic assumes you have seen the film and want to discuss its strengths and weaknesses. Most newspaper film "critics" are generally reviewers, except for occasional special articles.