Annoying clueless guy

I mentioned this one dance wherein nobody really knew how to dance. I'm not saying that none of them were seasoned, expert dancers. Rather, the problem was that none of them could dance at even a basic level.

Please don't get me wrong. I understand that not everybody knows how, and I understand that sometimes people just want to have fun. All I'm saying is that it was frustrating for me. I like to dance and I know a few different styles. I also try to be creative. All this shaking and wiggling around just doesn't do it for me. If you know how to dance, then this sort of thing isn't fun anymore except in small doses.

I came across an old acquaintance at this dance. He kept asking stupid and annoying questions. For example, he'd point at one couple and ask, "What style are they doing?" I'd say, "They're not doing any style. They're just swaying around." Then he'd point at another and say, "Look, they're swinging back and forth. That's swing dancing, right?" I'd say, "No, it isn't. Reember, I demonstrated swing dancing earlier. Those folks are just swaying around. They're not doing any style."

He then pointed at his friend Jon, a fella who has (and I'm not trying to be unkind by saying this) somewhat diminished mental capacities. He asked, "Look, Jon is dancing out there. What style is he doing?" I said, "He's not doing any style. He's just making stuff up. Not everyone who dances does so with a specific style, Dave."

It got to be really annoying after a while. You'd think that people could tell the difference between dancing with intentionality and doing something real.

Another disappointing dance

I attended a Valentine's Day "dance" that turned out to be extremely disappointing. Now please understand, I don't want to insult anyone, and I recognize that not everyone is an accomplished dancer. Nor do I begrudge people who don't dance much and can't do much more than shake it around a little bit. However, it is nice to be able to do more than just wiggling or swaying around, especially if one truly enjoys dancing.

There were more than a hundred people there, but not one of the ladies could dance, even in a basic way. I tried to lead a couple of the young ladies through some basic moves, but to no avail. One of them refused outright, and the second reluctantly agreed but was a complete disaster.

One older lady saw me trying to lead this young gal, and she asked me if I could show her what I was trying to do. So I was able to (somewhat roughly) lead her through a triple-step swing basic move. Later that night, I kinda managed to lead her (again, somewhat roughly) through a few waltz moves. She was stumbling around a lot, but considering that she had never done waltz before, that was still pretty good.

Anyway, it was frustrating that despite the large attendance, not one of the women knew how to dance, even at a beginner's level. Not a whole lot of dancers among the men, either. One guy told me that he knew country dancing, but as far as I could tell, he was the only one in the entire group.

It was SO frustrating. I'm not saying that everybody need to know how to dance well; however, when the entire room consists of people just shaking it around, I find it disappointing. The reality is -- and again, I know that this might offend some people -- there's no real art to this kind of "dance," and most people look pretty foolish when they're doing it. Some people call it "club dancing," but I think of it as "spazzing out."

Check out this map

Take a gander at this. Check out the map of Europe on this site. It's cool to see the way the individual countries are highlighted, and it's great how clicking on any of those countries directs one to the most appropriate language (English, German, or French). Only those languages are supported, which is a shame, since it'd be interesting to see the site in Spanish or Italian.

And heck, they even have Monaco! You have to look closely at the French coast to find it, though.

Dance studio shutting down

I just learned that one of the local dance studios will be closing its doors in August. Bummer.

One of the instructors there is a college student, so I'm not too concerned about her. One of the older instructors, however, could probably use some help. I know that she was very thankful for this job when she had to leave her previous employer a few years ago. Darn it.

So thankful

I am very, very thankful that Moni is a part of my life and that she's a good friend of mine.

So tired

I am so tired. I am very beat. I could really use a nap to refresh my mind and keep myself feeling more alert.

Farrah Forke, Aquagirl, and Batman Beyond

Whatever happened to Farrah Forke? I liked her in "Wings," and I think that she did a fine job in the short-lived and vastly underrated sitcom, "Dweebs."

I did find out that she did some voice acting. She "appeared" in two episodes of Batman Beyond ("The Call" Parts 1 and 2) as Barda, this character from New Genesis. She did have a nice speaking voice, after all.

Pathogens

I recently found myself casually using the word "pathogens" in conversation. I don't recall the context, but I did think that it was kind of amusing. Most people would just say "germs," but for whatever reason, I felt like being more scientifically precise.

Maybe I've been reading too many of the right kinds of books lately.

More on the sock hop

I just want to vent a little bit more about that stupid sock hop that I mentioned.

I think that a lot of people enjoyed themselves, but that was because they were doing lame-o dancing. You know, just shaking it around. Now I understand that not everybody knows how to dance, and that not everyone has a lot of skill. Still, it disappointed me that most people didn't even try to do anything interesting. Honestly, it doesn't take a lot of skill. At least try to be creative and so something that's different from just shaking and wiggling around.

I've seen someone refer to a move called the "cracker squirm." That's how most people I've seen tend to dance. It's not a pretty sight.

What a lame sock hop

Here is a little something that I wrote to a friend of mine. I kinda want to preserve it for posterity.

Hey there, Bri. I thought about you this weekend. Here's why.

Your friend David Palmer and I attended a 50s/60s-themed sock hop last Saturday. I think that we were both bored, though. There weren't a lot of good dance partners, and people were pretty much just shaking around. Too bad; I was kinda hoping for some authentic 50s-style dancing... or at least some attempt at it.

Even though it was a 50s and 60s event, the band mostly played 60s tunes (plus some 70s stuff). IMO, there wasn't a lot of good dance music that came out of the 60s, since it was mostly known for listening music. Most Beatles music wasn't really meant for dancing, for example, though one can certainly shake around to it.

I remember that they started with some more danceable songs, during which the dance floor was fairly bare. Once the band played some shake-it-around kinds of numbers though, the floor was suddenly flooded with people. At one point, David and I looked at each other from the sidelines and said, "We can't dance to this."

Anyway, that's why I thought of you. I remember you saying that you like to take pride in your dancing, which is why you don't like to shake it around unless you're under the influence of alcohol (heh). Apparently, David feels the same way we do. He said that he likes to have some sort of plan when he's dancing, and I agree with that sentiment. I love the artistry that comes from dancing well, and I just can't take any pride in wiggling or swaying around.

To each his own, though.

Positive feedback

Here's a message that I sent to a friend of mine recently.


====================================
Hi, Esther. How have you been? It's been way too long since I've had a chance to hear about your insights into life.

I remember your comments about how you don't appreciate brutal honesty. I'm with you on that point. I think that when people say that they're just "telling it like it is," it's pretty much just used as an excuse for not being tactful or empathetic.

This came to mind because of some struggles I've had with people in my dance class and martial arts classes. In my lindy hop dance class, for example, there's one gal who's kinda quick to provide negative feedback. That's not necessarily a problem, and she's not obnoxious about it, but I always feel that she could afford to cushion the blow with a smile or some words of encouragement. A bit of positive feedback now and then would be nice, too.

That's how I deal with other swing dancers, especially beginners. When I see that they struggle with something, I try to help them out with a smile on my face. I even say that I hope we can dance later, even when I know they're kinda bad.

I've got a similar situation in my Muay Thai (Thai kickboxing) class. Most of the people there are quite nice, and some of them are great sparring partners. However, there is one guy who's quick to criticize when my punches or blocks aren't quite right, and he does so with a somewhat hard expression and/or tone of voice. I always try to be encouraging when provide feedback, and most of the other guys are the same way. We've found that few gentle words like, "It just takes practice" or "I struggle with that too" can go a long way, y'know?

So anyway, those experiences made me think of you. I'm glad that you're more of an empathetic person. That's a positive quality to have.

Philology

Okay, this is really kinda petty, and I don't want to sound overly negative. However, part of my motivation in maintaining this blog is that I need a venue for venting, even about little stuff. Here's one example.

I get really annoyed when I hear certain folks refer to music videos as "MTVs." I also get annoyed when these folks refer to cassette players as "cassettes." I keep trying to explain that cassettes are what you place INSIDE the cassette players, but this distinction is apparently lost on them. (They refer to cassettes as "tapes," which is accurate but does not justify referring to the players as "cassettes.")

I know this is kinda trivial, but it's annoying nonetheless.

Why so many visitors?

On Wednesday nights, I take a cardio bootcamp class that’s heavily based on kickboxing. Last week, our regular instructor “R” was out of town, so “L” filled in for her. L can be utterly brutal, and I appreciate that.

One thing amazed me, though. Attendance was unusually high on that night, as a lot of ladies apparently chose to attend because L was teaching. I don’t understand that. L is a tough instructor, and she provides an intense workout, but I don’t think that’s the reason why she has a fan following. I say that because almost none (if any!) of these folks were able to keep up with her. Heck, most people have a hard enough time keeping up with R, so it doesn’t make sense to me that so many of these folks would attend L’s class but not R’s.

I’m just glad that the loud barking guy (let’s call him “Harley”) wasn’t at that class. I remember that he joined in once when another lady (“F”) filled in for L. He was such a poser, whooping and barking enthusiastically even though he was barely working out. To be fair, he does work hard on some moves, such as flutter kicks and certain step aerobics moves. He punches and kicks like a teenaged girl though, his jumping jacks are pathetic, and his high knee raises aren’t high at all.

Another guy's comments

Here are some comments from another fella about community dances.

Going to a non-specific dance can still be a disappointment. e.g. I went to a 40s themed event where everyone knew how to dance to some extent but there were many clashing styles and few women who could follow a lead without knowing the specific moves. I wouldn't expect anyone to, for example, be able to tango without having had specific lessons, but I would expect anyone who can follow a lead to be able to cope with the dumbed-down simplicity of modern jive. The fact that so many dancers cannot follow a lead is down to poor teaching, I think - although, obviously, inexperience or lots of experience of poor leads could be the problem.

Comments from a dancer

I just wanted to reproduce the following comments that I saw on a public discussion board about dancers. This gal had some wisdom to share.

It can sometimes be impossible to avoid the bad dances, since there is no way to know if it is bad or not until you try it out. Unless of course it is a weekly event and you have already heard word, but those are not what you seemed to be talking about.
...
As for attending socials at dance studios. Those, to me, have a very different feel than just attending a regular social event. From my experience, at the studios people are very willing to dance, but are constantly trying to fix how you are dancing or how they are dancing. They paid money to learn and want to make sure they are doing it right! And often many have the exact same style as the others there (since they are all learning from the same person). When going out socially you never know what you are going to encounter and I love that! From new dancers to people who are incredibly experienced. Each person has their own style, and each feels different to dance with.

Harley, go away

That Harley guy pisses me off no end. He's a loudmouthed jerk, he's a poser, and he's all talk.

I usually don't mind the folks who struggle in the gym. Some of them work really hard and want to get back in shape. (Admittedly, a lot of them don't. A lot of the just coast through the workouts and have no determination, no fighting spirit. Some of them genuinely want to undo years of poor health though, and they work hard to do so.) What I don't like are the folks who just talk the talk and don't walk the walk. The ones who hoot and holler like idiots, trying to make themselves sound all bad*ss, even though they're working out as though they were nine-year-old girls.

These folks aren't quite girly men. They can actually be in halfway decent shape. It's just that their mouths get much more of a workout than their bodies do.

And Harley is the worst offender by far. Shut up or go away, jerk.

Jobs in China

I found a site called "Jobs in China." What in the world is that about? It doesn't seem to me that a whole lot of people would be interested in finding jobs there -- certainly not the kind who would be drawn to an all-English site. So what the heck is that about?

Rachel from "Cardholder Services"

You suck. You dishonest, robocalling scammer. You thief. You deserve to be kicked out of the country.

More on laziness

Oh, and speaking again of lazy people in the cardio bootcamp class... I've often spoken about the loudmouthed poser who keeps whooping and hollering during the class, even though he's barely doing the moves. Well, he was in exceptionally rare for this week -- and by that, I mean that he was exceptionally lazy. He kept doing the moves in a wimpy, girlish way, even as he kept on hollering "Whoooooo!"

Go away, fella. You're trying to impress the ladies, but only an idiot would be taken in by your tactics.

Miggy and Migdalia

I'm not a big fan of "The Biggest Loser," but I sometimes tune in. Why? Because the physical challenges and last-minute workouts help motivate me to work hard at my own physical training regimen. Also, quite frankly, I sometimes find myself astonished at the ways in which people rationalize their obesity or their poor exercise and dining habits.

I normally fast forward through a lot of the show. It just doesn't capture my attention that much. However, I was riveted to some of the drama that surrounded Miggy and Migdalia, this mother-and-daughter team. Talk about delusional. Talk about unhealthy suppression. These folks are quick to blame other people for their own failures and they don't understand how much they're hurting themselves.

Miggy protested that they were there to exercise and learn proper eating habits, not to have their personalities changed. She failed to understand that when your personality traits foster obesity, then you MUST learn to change those traits. Suppressing one's emotions will make it vastly more difficult to trim down, due to the way one's body handles stress.