Positive feedback

Here's a message that I sent to a friend of mine recently.


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Hi, Esther. How have you been? It's been way too long since I've had a chance to hear about your insights into life.

I remember your comments about how you don't appreciate brutal honesty. I'm with you on that point. I think that when people say that they're just "telling it like it is," it's pretty much just used as an excuse for not being tactful or empathetic.

This came to mind because of some struggles I've had with people in my dance class and martial arts classes. In my lindy hop dance class, for example, there's one gal who's kinda quick to provide negative feedback. That's not necessarily a problem, and she's not obnoxious about it, but I always feel that she could afford to cushion the blow with a smile or some words of encouragement. A bit of positive feedback now and then would be nice, too.

That's how I deal with other swing dancers, especially beginners. When I see that they struggle with something, I try to help them out with a smile on my face. I even say that I hope we can dance later, even when I know they're kinda bad.

I've got a similar situation in my Muay Thai (Thai kickboxing) class. Most of the people there are quite nice, and some of them are great sparring partners. However, there is one guy who's quick to criticize when my punches or blocks aren't quite right, and he does so with a somewhat hard expression and/or tone of voice. I always try to be encouraging when provide feedback, and most of the other guys are the same way. We've found that few gentle words like, "It just takes practice" or "I struggle with that too" can go a long way, y'know?

So anyway, those experiences made me think of you. I'm glad that you're more of an empathetic person. That's a positive quality to have.