"Hi! I"d like to start a conversation. Please read my profile and tell me what you think."
Now, I understand that these people mean well; however, I don't think I would ever respond to such a message. It indicates a certain level of rudeness and a great deal of laziness. It amounts to saying, "I want us to talk, but I want you to do the hard work of getting the ball rolling. So please read my profile and decide what we should talk about."
Is this making too much of nothing? I don't think so. Common sense and decorum dictate that if you want to start a conversation, you do so in a normal manner. Find something to talk about, instead of expecting the other person to do the work for you.
When I brought this up on a singles discussion board though, half a dozen people responded by saying, "There's nothing rude about it! It's just a way of saying hello!" I find that baffling. Is that how they say hello in the real world? "Hi. I'd like to talk. Why don't you find something that we can discuss?"
A few people said, "I don't want to type out a lengthy message, only to get shot down! It's much simpler to just ask people to read my profile instead." I understand that they don't want to waste time, but really... you don't need a lengthy message. Just get the conversation started, instead of asking the other person to do the work for you.
Yes, I was deeply surprised at these responses. Somehow I suspect that these people wouldn't be saying the same thing if somebody used those tactics in real life. I'm not talking offering a smile or a sly look. I'm talking about asking the other person to review your profile (or whatever passes for it in the real world) and then let you know if she/he is interested.
After all, one can always start by bringing up a topic of common interest. This isn't being aggressive; in fact, it's pretty neutral. People of the same sex do it all the time, even on sites like this, so it's hardly the mark of an overly aggressive woman.
As a few acquiantances of mine said on an Internet message board,
"I delete those messages off the bat. The least they could do is respond to something in my profile. A simple 'I like Regina Spektor too!' would suffice. It doesn't have to be a novel, but any kind of message indicating you've looked beyond my age and my ethnicity would be nice."
"The message should make it clear that they at least read your profile, and it's not a mass message."
"Sounds like a spammed response to anyone who has the genital requirements the sender seeks. I concur... lazy. If there's a hint that the sender actually read the ad and indicated in one sentence why they responded to you, it would be a massive improvement."
On an unrelated note, I was also reading about the shenanigans of scammer Eli Sharvit. Yoiks. What a crook. Elsewhere, I also read that he's continuing to deceive people -- that his company has merely changed names, but basically operates in the same scamming mode. If that's true, then it's a truly despicable situation.
