Some Christmas humor

Here is a geeky bit of holiday humor from a clean jokes page.

Real programmers can never tell the difference between Halloween and Christmas. After all, OCT 31 == DEC 25.

Christmas Eve

Gonna meet a new friend for Christmas.

I normally spent Christmas with these delightful sisters that are very dear to me. One of them is on her honeymoon, though. The other is in a relationship, so getting together with me one-on-one is not an option.

Unfortunately, this meeting will involve a very long 3.5-hour drive, plus another 3.5 hours getting back. So I don't get to work out or do any real work on that day.

Extra billing from Bally

I don't get it.

Back in April, I cancelled my old Bally membership and started a new membership contract with different terms. Basically, for a few extra bucks each month, I can now go to any Bally gym in the nation. My old membership fees were being charged to my Visa card, whereas my new fees are being charged to my Discover card.

Starting in August though, I found that my Visa card was being charged again. I had a hard time getting ahold of any Bally customer service reps on the phone, but this week, I finally got a hold of one. (To be fair, I wasn't trying very hard, due to the long wait times.)

The problem has now been fixed and my charges are going to be refunded to me. We don't understand why the billing was erroneously resumed in August, though. Go figger.

So glad that I changed my battery

I am so glad that I changed my car battery. I could swear that the car runs more smoothly now. Yeah, baby.

I also saved myself a bunch of money that way.

Writing Great Articles

How do you write great articles? The following article (heh) from this site helps spell it out.

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How To Get Started On Writing Killer Articles


I once wrote an article in which I offered the following tip on how to speak eloquently in public: Talk about something that you’re passionate about. When we speak about matters that are dear to our hearts, we often find wellsprings of eloquence from which we can draw.

I offer similar advice to anyone who wants to learn how to write with flair and style. Start by writing about something that you feel deeply and passionately about. The same hearty emotions that lend eloquence to an orator can also provide a jumpstart to an aspiring writer. What’s more, we are likely to be well-informed about matters that we hold dear, and we are likely to have spent many hours pondering their significance in our minds.

Of course, this is no magic bullet. An aspiring writer still needs to master the mechanics of proper composition, as well as develop his own style. Still, these skills can only come about through practice—and if you’re going to practice, it helps to start with topics that we can launch into with great passion and aplomb.

V. B. Velasco Jr
http://www.immunospot.com

Replacing a car battery

I just replaced my car's battery. That was a lot more work than I expected, partly because I had never done it before. Loosening the screw on one of the battery clamps was pretty difficult, and as it turns out, I didn't need to loosen it all that much. Also, there was this arm that was used to hold the battery in place, and this one supporting rod kept falling out of place after I installed the battery.

Now that I have the hang of it, replacing the battery should be pretty easy. I probably won't have to do that for another five years, though. In fact, my current battery lasted me for a little over six years.

Oh, M.D.

This gal, M.D., is heavily into eastern mysticism and all this kinda nonsense. Too bad, since she's a very attractive thirtysomething woman. She's intelligent, lean, athletic, and beautiful, and she's got killer gams.

What a shame.

That's not what you do at a swing dance

There's a bunch of folks that I sometimes attend dance events with. Unfortunately, none of them know how to dance, with the exception of one gal who (somewhat infrequently) comes along.

There are a couple of other ladies who can follow along somewhat when it comes to partner dancing, but they aren't as enthusiastic as a lot of other folks that I hang with. What's more, they could use more energy.

I went to a swing dance event with them in December. At one point, instead of dancing swing, they did the usual "party" thing where you get a circle of people together and just kinda twist it around. That was utterly embarrassing.

It's one thing if you don't know the moves -- but for pity's sake, if you're at a swing event, then at least TRY to dance swing. Sheesh!

Motown dance moves

I decided that if I ever want to look up some useful Motown dance moves, I should check out Tamilee Webb's DVD, "Fit to the Hits: Motown Moves."

Patty

I just heard that my friend Patty got engaged. Good for her. She's a nice gal, and fairly attractive as well. She also has brains. Heck, if not for the fact that she's divorced with a boatload of kids (as well as a few areas of potential incompatibility), I might have chosen her myself.

She's a great gal and she deserves happiness.

Speaking of competence

Speaking of lacking competence...

I wonder what happened to DMS. He's a guy that I knew in school. When he landed a job, we all predicted that he'd be shooting himself in the foot before long. He had some technical competence but very poor social skills. What's more, he was basically a "plug and chug" kinda guy when it came to solving physics-related problems. He could study and he could score well, but he didn't necessarily have a very solid grasp of the underlying science principles.

Then there's Deborah, someone that I worked with at a charity. She had competence, but she was also severely lacking in people skills. She said that she was a people person who simply chose not to act like one. That was a blatant excuse for bad behavior, and she never admitted that to herself.

Competence

There are various works that could be used to describe T. Oliver. "Competent" is not one of them.

The guy is a bozo. He lacks common sense.

CVC

I saw that this site mentioned the CVC. Boy, did that bring back memory. Relatively recent memories, but still...

They do some exciting work, by gum. I almost wish that I could enter a different field and work alongside those clever folks.

I'm so cold

I am so cold. So uncomfortably cold.

I use to laugh at the cold. Well, not anymore. After losing a significant amount of bodyfat, I now feel the cold more acutely. A lot less insulation, you know.

I wasn't fat before, and I certainly wasn't a couch potato by any means. (You could say that I agree with this philosophy.) I also used to quietly scoff at people who complained about the cold. Well, not anymore. (To be fair, most of those people were fatter than I was. However, I also have to remember that some folks will just tend to be more temperature-sensitive.)

New solo Charleston stuff

I've got to remember the following moves and work them into my repertoire:

Boogie drops, followed by this four-snap move
Knee slaps followed by a jump Charleston
Charleston spins followed by the scarecrow

So incredibly tired

I am beat. I got to bed at a little past 3 am due to various tasks I had to take care of. Also, a friend of mine kept me up on the phone due to some personal crisis of hers.

Then I woke up early in order to attend my 8 am cardio workout class, which was further tiring. I would have liked to take a nap in the afternoon, except that the cleaning ladies who were supposed to arrive at my house were two hours late (through no fault of their own, I might add) In fact, they're still at work right this minute.

I have to leave in about two hours -- maybe an hour after the cleaning crew gets done. I've got a full night of activities lined up, and so I won't have time to rest. None.

I could really use some rest, too.

The Super Hero Squad Show

This show is kinda amusing. Clearly directed toward children, but with enough humor and witty one-liners for adults to appreciate it.

I could do without the flatulence jokes, though. Oh, and the inclusion of Wolverine was obviously meant to pander to the X-Men fanboys. Still, I like the way they include bastardized versions of all sorts of classic Marvel characters, plus a few more obscure ones.

Not feeling well

I'm feeling congested. This comes and goes. Ugh.

On an unrelated note, I'm a bit frustrated with this one social dance event that I've been attending every month. Virtually none of the people there know any dance styles. They just shake it about. One guy and gal know some east coast swing, and they're good... but not great. She can dance it, but with a bit of difficulty. He doesn't have much flair either.

I don't understand how people can attend these events month after month without figuring that it'd be helpful to learn a few steps. As things stand, they just shake themselves about, which is mighty boring. Few people can do that well.

It doesn't take much to learn some steps, folks. Attend a local swing dance event, for example. Or check out some videos from the library. Or even break down the moves in a TV dance routine.

Stephanie Underwood

So I watched Carrie Underwood's holiday special this week. The earliest skit left me feeling non-plussed, and some of the country numbers didn't really resonate with me. I do realize that the latter is a matter of personal musical preference, though.

Oh, and I loved the choreography that went into her performance of "Songs Like This." Her backup dancers were amazing.

Much has been said about Carrie Underwood's good looks. Personally though, I thought her sister Stephanie Underwood was a real stunner. There was an ongoing subplot within her special about trying to set Stephanie up with a guy, and I found myself thinking, "Yeah, right. A woman who looks like her should have men following her around everywhere."

The end of Monk

So the Monk TV series has come to an end. How sad. How very, very sad.

The series got kinda clunky toward the end, but it was still a darned sight better than most of the stuff on TV. The USA network really gets it when they emphasize characters over glitzy and gimmickry. Characters matter to them. As their slogan says, "Characters welcome."